Spot the Re, Ga and Dha buggers!

NAPPING: Day Supercalifrajalisticexpealidocious

Yeah well that's what it is. Long uncalled for hiatus from a blog I promised I'd write every day. Auditors at work, missing classes left right and center, practical class speeding by leaps and bounds. We have done Gaa Komal. It's something I know I scribbled something profound about in my notebook margin. It was Nii komal that really felt like flowers blooming and rainbows sprouting from every inch of the surroundings.
Witty professor LIED to me so now he is the Lying witty professor. Okay FINE! He didn't lie. He joked. But it was a cruel joke. He said I am AM's best student. And then went back on his word. Meanwhile I had woken Lala up in the middle of the night and he almost had a heart attack. I hadn't spoken to him in over a couple of weeks and I call him in the middle of the night, he thought I was dying or was in some sort of trouble. Then we both celebrated by yelling out our yays. I felt like such an idiot when I found out it wasn't true. I missed so many classes I hardly know anything that goes on in Western theory any more. This weekend was all dedicated to M and qavvaali. The qavvaal bachcha from my class kept smiling at me when I was trying to control my laughter. He doesn't know my crazy laugh situation. I am a bane to any performer friend usually forbidden to be part of the audience because I always make everyone laugh. They were sitting too close, his father would've hit me with the harmonium. Good death but I still won't have made it to first page so not good enough. I'll beat him up if he discusses with his friends that he saw me all dressed up. I like my maasi image at NAPA. Mental note: Have to bully him into never leaving qavvaali whatever frikkin' thing he decides to do with a piano, he is damned good at it and there's a legacy to be kept up with. I hope he doesn't mess up in the love to be a Rock Star and has some brains as opposed to other kids his age *groan* I don't think if anything winds me up more than immaturity. The tablaanawaz's son and the silent singer are both kinda scared of me.Good. I love bullying them. They need to be kept in check. Hyperactive little things! Witnessed some rehearsal last week for an event commemorating Noor Jehan. Lovely punjabi numbers, kept singing them for a while. I don't know why people get so excited when they see celebrities. Why can't we treat them like normal human beings? I'm sure they'd appreciate that. Also only because they are celebrities doesn't mean they're awesome people too. Most of them tend to disappoint you on a personal level so I am always sort of annoyed in general about the whole starry eyed meet-a-celebrity deal. Kash just emailed about an evening with IK. now that's what I call a set up for true eye candy. In other news I just realised how much I miss Kashif Hussain bhaeeeee! Kojak must return soon. Sadness is happening.

NAPPING: Day Dieciséis

Thursday February 10, 2011

Day quince was a strike of some sort. Today we did the 6th Paltaa of Bilaaval thaath and practiced all five earlier ones. This one is fun, it has a more fun formation than that of the earlier ones. I like it. Its fun to sing too!
In theory class did two more thaaths Todi & Bhairon.

I love the cats in this place. They’re so elegant. Well. Maybe not. But yes I’m a sucker for cats.

NAPPING: Day Catorce

Tuesday February 08, 2011

Nothing too happening. Women within the boys show up. Annoying freaks. Practical class went prett-ty lame and a bit infuriating too. Then the sun shines on. I move towards the Western Theory class and I see AM. Wait a second, is he taking the class? Oh My God, he is. He totally is! I glide into class at a glacial pace (aka Devil wears Prada) The entire class seemed to be dancing, the words were singing, everything was in harmony. I was ecstatic! AM’s first class. I was finally GETTING Western Theory damn it! I haven’t been this active in a class at NAPA. We did everything we had supposedly done before, Clefs, staff, ledger lines, ranges, but this was beauty. I was now understanding what we had earlier studied. We study note duration and he gives us a sequence. When he puts notes into it instead of one static note, it becomes the National Anthem. *Woooopeee-ed* totally!
I haven’t been happier in recent times. This was my passion talking out loud. So so happy!

NAPPING: Day Trece

Monday February 07, 2011

46 minutes late. Petrified. Mortified. Everything-fied. Deep fried. Practicing the killer Paltaa 4 was perhaps not enough. Paltaa number 5 descends and life is about to end. We’re doing Aarohi, Amrohi and Aakaar. For all Five. Lets all kill each other. New name for gravity doll, perhaps an addition. he sings like Rangeela in “Gaa more manvaa, gaata jaa re” So yeah. His egg yellow shirt qualifies him to be Rangeela. In addition to his voice but gravity doll stays too. Rangeela Gravity Doll.

Beautiful night. Lovely breeze. I think NAPA blew a light or something. The darkened parking area with the almost sugary breeze is so soothing after vein infarcting panchwaan paltaa, its unbelievable.

Fab e ayye aala irabbekumaa tukazzebaan. AND along came a spider and sat down beside her. A buoy in radddd shirt walks over and I very promptly move to another corner. Everything beautiful must come to an end. Thus the theory class.

Eastern theory class, I realise dude, “pehlaa kaala” REALLY means pehlaa kaala! Meaning the first set of black keys on the keyboard. How cool is that!? Anyway, randomness exist for me in this dimension. We learned more thaaths. Beyond Bhairavi. There’s Kalyan, Maarva and Poorvi. Mani Gadha Re isn’t all I need I guess. Must.make.mnemonic for the rest of the family too. New members

NAPPING: Day Doce

Friday February 04, 2011

Practicing the 4 paltay from Bilaaval thaath, over and over. Fourth paltay pe heart fail ho jaayega. Machhar ki maut marein gai. Matlab bay-maut. We’re moving onto faster tempo, swifter taal (groove). Speed is not my issue. Range is. The scale kills my head and heart.
Learned about the Staff Clef, ledger line, Middle C, Bass and Treble Clef. I like drawing the treble Clef. Bass Clef looks like it needs help. We should get it a shrink. Demented shape has happened. Notes and Time signatures were introduced. i think I get it. Making the flags on the notes is tough shit. My flags end up looking like fat lard hanging from the poles. Disturbing.
Another profound statement was formed. I should write a textbook full of profound definitions of music. Ahhem “Every line or space on the staff represents a white key on the keyboard” Oh yeayaah *wO0t!*

Someone was texting during class and the witty professor stopped teaching. Said “Bandd kyun kar diya. Message karo” He’s funny. I make it sound quite lame here. Situational comedy. You won't get it. Okay I’m messing him up. Honestly he’s quite funny. Promise

NAPPING: Day Once

Thursday February 03, 2011

Paltaa number 4, Bilaaval Thaath. Sounds smooth. Both Aarohi Amrohi. Though beyond dhaa is still a struggle.
The substitute of the big boiz for theory lessons is a witty one. I like his classes. I was reminded of my guitar lessons today. The notes.

C C# D D# E F F# G G# A A# B

Sigh. Good days but hey! These are better days! By all means :)
Bilaaval thaath repeated in theory lesson and instinctively everyone started to hum. “Guitar waalay gaayein mat khudaa ke liye” says the witty professor. Some smart Alec says labbaik instead of present, during attendance. “Phhatna nahi labbaik pe please!” I like this teacher though I didn’t quite pay for this but still, he’s fun.

NAPPING: Day Diez

Wednesday February 2, 2011

Ocho and Nueve I was down with the worst shoulder pain ever. People sleep weird and get a stiff neck for a day and that’s all. I get a freaking nerve trapped somewhere awkward. Cervical Radiculopathy. Sounds like Cervical ridiculousness and being a psychopath at it all the while to me.
Anyway. Day Diez and I’m welcomed back with warmth. Al Pacino pushes an unnamed (yet!) boy away to make space for me. He’s changed shirts while I was away. I’m most upset. His Al Pacino shirt is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps Al got sick of the practical classes.
Paltaa number 3 Aarohi Amrohi in Bilaaval Thaath. I think I will burst a vein. Anything beyond Dhaa is Dhevastating!

NAPPING: Day Siete

Friday January 28 2011

The craziness continues. The second paltaa is being etched in our heads. I think I can sing it in my sleep. But I do sing in my sleep sometimes. So yeah. Quite possible this is the track tonight! The tone deaf laughing machine blurts out “doosra paltaa aarha tairha hai” It actually makes sense. Reminds me of Ayesha’s chataapati gharara.
Never in my LIFE did I think I’d spot a bloody series. I can’t believe I said “2 ki series hai” I’ve hated series and math for all of the time I remember being me. I almost always felt the need to puke on the chapters that taught series. I just hated it. Here I am. Spotting series in music. Sir Anjum Rasool has served his purpose. In my life.
Gravity doll drones on and loses taal. Sir goes like “ Yeh Aashiq saheb hein. Yeh tabla bajaatay hein. Inn ka matlab hai tempo. Apna tabla nahi bajaana hai.”Slowly people’s surs are improving. Not too much but any is many I guess.
End of the day moral. No emo phone calls between classes. I lost all focus during theory lesson. No. Not on.

NAPPING: Day Seis

Thursday January 27 2011

Crazy high at work. A jingle/ theme song mastered from Abbey road shook me and woke me up! It was almost as if my life had a new goal. I have to record at Abbey road at least once. Before I die. Must do that. I couldn’t sit down. Restless. HAVE to do this if I have to do anything in life, it’s this. I need to walk that zebra crossing dressed in a suit, barefoot, McCartney’s way, just with strappy stilettos dangling in my fingers. Ogled at Abbey Road crossing all day in an extra window through the live webcam streaming. sigh. I had a severe SEVERE craving to just burst out into a rapturous song
Almost in a trance I reach NAPA and figure out the Komal conversion through the different thaaths to be Ma Ni Ga Dha Re in this order, one by one, ranging from Bilaaval thaath right up to Bhairavi. Sounds like Mani Gadhaa Re. Mani is a gadhaa so this one isn’t too tough to remember. Cool mnemonic.
They taught us the second paltaa and the sur went insane. To top it alloff the teacher left the class for a moment and hell broke loose. Everyone was applying their own personal opinionated sargam and it was almost anarchical. Full Sargam is mindblowing by the way. I was about to burst a vein there.
I think I’m getting to know my class fellows a bit better. There’s the boy with a missing ‘Pa’, tone deaf laughing machine and Al Pacino who always wears this one shirt. With Al Pacino on it. I think this is beginning to amuse me. Lets see. For now, back to daydreaming about Abbey Road. *double sigh*

NAPPING: Day Cinco

Wednesday January 26 2011

Dhaa for Dhorajee

Since the day these classes began they have been forbidding us from having cold, sour things to eat. Also rice is to be avoided. I live on these three. Especially when forbidden. The dhorajee plan that simply doesn’t seem to materialize was brought to a sudden end when we did Dhaa. The La note really kicks it out of your stomach man! Never had I thought it’ll be such a struggle to hold a note. Thanks to all the chaawal and achaar devouring, my voice started cracking. Goodness me, WHY? This is something I cannot deal with. MY voice cracking what the? I have control! Where did it all go. Seems like it’s a long way to go.

My classmates are. Well. I’d like to see through them. They’re depressing. I don’t want to get to know them. I’m not being snobbish I’m just not in the mood to put in any effort to know newer people where differences are so vast. I doubt if we have anything in common except the need to learn music. Should that not be enough? I guess it isn’t for now. They certainly don’t seem as passionate about the entire thing as one ought to. I am trying not to judge and block it out but I feel mean not mingling with them. Bhaee nahi hoga na mujhse. Don’t make me do stuff please. I’m stepping out of my comfort zone coexisting with them I’m sure they’ll hate me too. Promise. Ohh did I say “too” I don’t hate them! Or Anyone! Disclaimer Disclaimer! I just don’t want to have anything to do with them unless they really prove their commitment to music which is perhaps the only common thing we’ll ever have. Do I sound like a prude? I’m not a prude. I’m just. I like clean environments and crass people certainly don’t earn any brownie points. Tameez laazim hai. I don’t enjoy faaltuu jokes unless I’m with old friends that have a saner side and we are all high on life and other stuff.

I’m realizing through my NAPA journey, I’m a bit stuck up. I don’t necessarily want to change that about myself. I don’t want to be mean to anybody but I do want to decide. Things. Just general things. Like being able to hate when they disrespect an instrument or joke about a teacher. What the? You’re here to learn. Shutup and learn. This nation needs some serious growing up.

I think the high note just gave me an upset stomach. Oh Brother.

NAPPING: Day Cuatro

Monday January 24 2011

Intense learning hits hard today. We learn the conditions of a thaath, Aarohi and Amrohi of the same and learn the Major scale. Bilaawal thaath. Apparently the run of the mill Sa Re Ga Ma that we are accustomed to singing whenever asked the sargam, is Bilaawal Thaath. Wow. a) Baby actually has a name, b) DUDE Sargam has other forms *blink blink* Welcome to the real world!
Eastern Theory explained saptaks, tones, semi tones, Qayem Komal Teevar and the thaath and raag side of life. I was very proud to understand the concept and reproduce a self explanatory note of my own.

“Thaath is a larger set to which there can be many subsets. Each subset is a separate ‘Raag’”

Flashback of Sir Anjum Rasool’s class. “Sir ek chartered accountant ko iss se  kya ke bag mein se pink ball aur blue ball nikalnay ki kya probability hai?”
Had i known singing would remind me of O levels  Sets and subsets, I perhaps would’ve been weaned off singing long ago. Yes. That IS how much I loathe mathematics. I think someone made God very angry and He made Math. Hmmph. Decision.

Briefly went through the first five thaaths. I think I get it but it is yet another mathematical logic and I don’t wanna talk about it.

NAPPING: Day Tres

Friday January 21 2011

Shit! I walked into 2nd years. Shit jammed. Scared to death. Salamat Ali Khan in my face, telling me to "aiyyay aiyyay" jesus christ, I could almost feel the new york cheese cake rising back out. Uff everyone's leaving. I'm alone with the teachers. This is scary beyond belief. I can cry. Buckets. I'm just typing away furiously. F.u.r.i.o.u.s.l.y. Ughh. Kya karuun. This is very scary. Life is scary in general but this just takes the cake.
First class with Arshad Mahmood. Why am I such a scaredy cat? So off balance? I need to relax. Sadly Amean has stopped telling me to relax. I'm see. low. ly being pulled away from my boys group. From all groups. I turned down two crabbing plans, three dinners and two coffees this week. I already feel depressed. Well. Somewhat. I won’t lie. I am quite ecstatic about NAPA but will this excitement last me long enough to say good bye to my bachelor pad of a life? This schedule is like being married to an oven timer. If I’m unable to stick to this, then that will be a shame.

We did Staffs Clefs and Ledger lines. I promise I didn’t get a thing in the western theory class. The notes kept missing my head by at least a hand span. Help me dear God, my teachers will have me for breakfast!

NAPPING: Day Dos

Wednesday January 19 2011

Okay I'm petrified. I am in this room with three weird boys who are saying. Yeh sitar aslee hai? Uthaatay kaise hon gai. Gana bhi hota hai iss ke sath? Gaaahh!
Text one. After 3-4 back to back calls to Maleeha in a row just to rid myself of jitters stemming from awkward silence. Fiercely typing away on my phone I'm trying to control palpitations. Dear God help me do this. Please. Its something I really wanna do but the unnerving crowd is making my heart tremble. Over the years, Pakistanis have become fierce in their views..

I just want to sing. Keep your views in your pocket boizes. After class we went around the majestic building.

Its beautiful. Somehow I could feel the soul in it. Like one in dada jaan’s house.

Felt like home though not quite there yet.

What I learned at school was

Kharaj
Rikhab
Gandhaar
Madhham
Pancham
Dhaivatt
Nikhaad

Go figure!

NAPPING: Day Uno

Monday January 17 2011

Timetable, new place, big building, wobbly knees, big names, shyte! Totally flabbergasted. I entered the place and was pushed to AM’s rooms to show my face since I reached before time. he has made our lives HELL changing timings for you. Trembling, I walk into his room just to see him look up at me from above his specs, at the wall clock and then beam right back at me “jaldi aa gayiin” Stuttering more than a… oh well lets not be racist now, just vigorously stammering I tried to tell him I had a meeting close by but I don’t think he cared much. Walked out and looked around like a lost cause. We were just sent back after a scary session in a large over lit room where our auditions took place.

captured my timetable as well as a kitten chasing its tail on the stairs. Somehow I could relate with the violent quick flustered movements. I felt like the crazy kitty too.

NAPPING: Auditions

Wednesday January 12 2011

I haven’t felt this scared since … I don’t know, nothing got me this apprehensive. EVER. Trust me there’s been a lot but nothing matches this. Perhaps its what’s at stake. Music has been such an integral part of my being however, I have never been evaluated for my skills and THIS was terrifying. What if I fail? In the one thing that defines the word passion for me, what if I’m not good enough? My upset stomach reminded me of O levels final exams, my nausea, that of Montessori mornings. Of all the times in the world I had to have congestion and sound like a generator that day. I couldn’t believe it. Singing (and I honestly don’t care if I’m good or bad) completes me. It is the only thing that relaxes me in the worst of situations, the only feeling I fail to describe is that of singing. It strengthens my belief in spirituality.

I tiptoed into the room. At least 5 people. I was too dazed to remember how many people there were. I felt as if my knees were made out of jell-o. Went there. Sat down. This is what it feels to have all you’ve got on the line. Perhaps people who pursue careers of their choice experience this every milestone on their way. For the first time in my life I was thankful to everything mightier to have me excelling in a field I never gave a rat’s ass about. What are your favourite singers. Name a classical singer. What do you know about them? Can you sing a song by them? The array of questions flabbergasted me and I forgot Habib Wali Muhammad. I saw Arshad Mehmood and all I could say was Nayyara Noor and Tina Sani. Brain wiped clean. How could I be doing this. Not that I don’t like the two I mentioned. I love them but there were so many? Mukesh, Noor Jehan, Habib Wali Muhammad, Alamgir, K L Sehgal, not necessarily in this specific order but hey, give me a break! I can’t write another word. I’m done.